Covert Narcissism: 5 Unseen Signs of a Female Narcissist

In this eye-opening episode, I delve into the covert depths of narcissism in women, uncovering the often unnoticeable yet significant signs that reveal their true nature. From their charming outward appearance to their manipulative tactics, you’ll discover invaluable insight into the narcissistic behavior patterns of women. Equip yourself with the knowledge you need to recognize and protect yourself from potential emotional harm.

Discover the red flags that often go unnoticed in female narcissists: their self-centered nature, heightened need for admiration, lack of empathy, tendency for exploiting others, and a sense of entitlement. By understanding these signs, you will gain the necessary tools to navigate relationships wisely, whether personal or professional.

Join me as we unravel the enigma of covert narcissism in women, providing you with invaluable insights and practical tips to identify and deal with these often unnoticed traits. It's time to arm yourself with knowledge and empower yourself against the grasp of female narcissism. Remember to like, comment, and subscribe for more thought-provoking content on psychology, relationships, and personal growth. Share this video with those who need to know about the covert traits of narcissism in women, and together, let's foster healthier relationships.


Transcript

Female Narcissists (Specifically Narcissistic Mothers)

Today we're talking about the covert and dangerous female narcissist, the emotional abuse and harm they do, and some of the top signs that you may be dealing with one. This topic is especially important to me because almost all of my private clients tend to be children of narcissists. Specifically narcissistic mothers.

And the thing is, until we work together, most of my clients don't even see the narcissist hiding in plain sight. The good thing is once you see it, you can't unsee it. And that's why I want to discuss the five most common signs of a female narcissist.​

Hi there. I'm Meadow DeVor helping you with strategies and tools to build self-worth on this channel, I share self-development tips and practical ways to change your life.

Why Narcissistic Women Hide in Plain Sight

It's easy to overlook the female narcissist because they are often women who haven't emotionally matured beyond teenage mean girl tactics.

They're often covert in their narcissistic tactics, and they pretend to be vulnerable instead of dangerous. We don't see them because we're not looking for them. Instead, we often project kindness or empathy when there is none. We see a sweet, young girl, a loving mother, a harmless old lady, or a catty best friend because we're taught not to see who they really are. In a lot of cases, we've been trained to not see it by the female narcissist in the center of it all.

The truth is that women at any age can be vindictive, cruel, and ruthless. Mothers are not always loving. Some of them abandon, neglect or abuse their children. Friends are not always friendly. Some are more than willing to use you, steal from you and hurt you. 

Female Narcissists: Top Five Traits and Behaviors

Here are the top five traits and behaviors to watch out for. If you suspect you might have a female narcissist in your life and some tips on how to cope.

1. Female Narcissists Lack Empathy.

Sign number one: a female narcissist lacks empathy and gets a sadistic sense of pleasure from your pain.Female narcissists struggle to understand and share the feelings of others, but they are more than willing to feed off of yours. They're self-absorbed, placing their own needs above everyone else. They exploit or manipulate you without even a second thought. She gets off on bringing you down, and this type of emotional abuse leaves a wake of destruction.

It brings her a sick sense of joy when she shocks you, offends you and watches you lose any sense of confidence. She's interested when you share your emotions, but not because she's empathetic. She's looking for information that either inflates her sense of grandiosity or will become currency to use against you.

At first, she'll idealize you. This doesn't mean she likes you. Instead, it means she likes the way you make her feel about herself. She'll punish you when you threaten her fragile grandiosity or stop feeding her ego. She cannot engage in healthy, emotionally fulfilling relationships, so she enjoys sabotaging the relationships and friendships of others for her own personal entertainment.

And she will do anything to hurt your self-esteem.

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2. Female Narcissists Need Constant Validation

On to number two, female narcissists need constant validation. They have an insatiable sense of competitiveness due to pathological envy and the need to be the center of attention. They rely on you to validate their existence. And they'll do anything to remain in the spotlight. Their world revolves around compliments and attention, and they will go to great lengths to secure it.

Some of the most abusive tactics will fall within the realm of family and friendship. The female narcissist scopes out who's a threat. And who is a blind follower, if you're a threat in any way, whether it's success, appearance, personality, resources, status, desirability, or all of the above she will cut you out and get rid of you.

While those who are obedient will be kept around until they are no longer useful. If you're a threat, you might initially be placed on a pedestal to keep up appearances but soon enough, she won't be able to handle her feelings of contempt and envy and rage.

So she'll set you up to fail, and then she'll make sure that the entire group [00:04:30] knows that you are untouchable. You're an outsider, you're ostracized.

3. Manipulative behavior disguised as care.

Sign number three: manipulative behavior disguised as care. Ugh. She sabotages your friendships and relationships stirring chaos within social groups.

Female narcissists are masters of manipulation. They possess an uncanny ability to use you to their advantage. Often employing subtle tactics to control and influence people. They exploit your vulnerabilities for personal gain, leaving a trail of emotional wreckage in their wake.

The female narcissist may use you to gain access to resources or status, but if you stop doing your job, and in case you don't know what your job is, it's to make her feel good about herself, then she'll do a full social takedown. She'll start rumors, smear campaigns, and talk behind your back, spreading false and or humiliating information about you to try to maintain her false superiority. Always positioning herself as being better, smarter and more powerful than you. She'll pit friends and family against each other, claiming that they're gossiping about one another when she in fact is the one manufacturing the conflict.

You might have a female narcissist in your midst if you notice that others within the family or friend group exchange covert glances, when you come into the room. The narcissist will be the one who's overly friendly, in contrast, covering up that she was the one talking about you behind your back.

Or you might notice that you feel compelled to overshare your most intimate secrets with her. The narcissist will seem disarmingly sweet and trustworthy, but ends up using the information against you. She'll exploit what you've shared and use it to gain power. 

She'll talk down to you about your vulnerabilities and show smugness when she devalues your accomplishments. 

4. Excessive self-importanance.

Sign number four is an excessive self-importance, superiority and grandiosity. A female narcissist often displays an inflated self-image, although she actually feels the exact opposite about herself.

 Attention is her lifeline and she thrives on admiration, both online and off. The female narcissist battles with other females for dominance and uses her charm, fabricated vulnerabilities, faux humility, her appearance or anything else to gain superiority.

She will inflate whatever aspect might help her win against you. This might translate into a grandiose sense of physical, sexual, or intellectual superiority, an exaggerated tale of romance within her marriage, or using the achievements of her own children to gain the upper hand. She might covertly try to appear vulnerable as if you are the one that's hurting her through your achievements. She might hurt you and bully you under the guise of constructive criticism.

Of course, she'll say you are being overly sensitive if you get your feelings hurt. She'll do whatever it takes to make sure she's the one at the top of the dominance hierarchy and that you remain beneath her.

5. Unhealthy Sense of Entitlement.

Sign number five is an unhealthy sense of entitlement, a blatant disregard for boundaries, including her own.

A female narcissist believes she deserves special treatment and privileges. She expects you to bend to her will and becomes frustrated or even angry when her desires aren't immediately fulfilled. Her sense of entitlement knows no bounds, which is why she ignores, crosses and destroys any boundaries that you might try to put into place.

The female narcissist wants to believe that she has an audience of admirers. Friends, family, strangers, coworkers, fans, online and offline. It doesn't matter who they are or even if they exist, she sees the audience as something to use, not only for validation, but more that it actually gives her proof that she exists.

A narcissist can't live in a vacuum. She'll die without that steady supply of admiration. 

So she needs you as part of her imaginary audience to be boundaryless. To her, you're simply an extension of her existence. You're a tool to be used. If you set limits or make yourself unavailable for use, she'll resent you, punish you, and do whatever it takes to devastate you into compliance. 

The female narcissist's response to your boundaries will tell you everything you need to know. Most narcissists can't stand to be ignored. They feel entitled to your constant attention. So they will continue to make persistent efforts until they get it or attempt to sabotage you if they fail.

So to recap, here are the top five signs of a female narcissist:

  1. female narcissists lack empathy, and get a sadistic sense of pleasure from your pain.

  2. female narcissists need constant validation. They have an insatiable sense of competitiveness due to pathological envy and the need to be the center of attention.

  3. Her manipulative behavior is disguised as care. She sabotages your friendships and relationships, stirring chaos within social groups.

  4. She has excessive self-importance, superiority and grandiosity.

  5. She has an unhealthy sense of entitlement, a blatant disregard for boundaries, including her own.