Healthy boundaries create the ability for you to connect authentically with those around you while protecting what’s important to you.
15 Signs You Need to Strengthen Your Boundaries
Five Lies That Keep You Stuck
It’s difficult to know when you’re lying to yourself. Here are five common lies that keep you stuck and questions to help set you free.
The Dark Side of People-Pleasing
The problem is that many of us confuse people-pleasing with actual kindness. And these two are easy to confuse because on the outside the behavior can look very similar. Yet, internally, they are vastly different and the key to their differences comes down to one thing: motive.
How to Know When It's Over
Whether you're wondering about ending a friendship, leaving a marriage, setting hard boundaries with a family member or quitting a job, these three steps will help you clearly define when it's over (and when it's not).
The Harsh Truth About Healthy Boundaries
Listen.
We all have them.
Some of us have long ones. Some of us have short ones. Some of us have nice ones. Some of us have mean ones. Some of us pretend to not have them at all. And some of us just whip ‘em out at any old time, and use them as manipulative weapons of mass destruction.
No matter the size, the length or the age.
We always keep these hidden from sight. And we know the entire thing by heart.
On page 42 it might say, “If you see that I’m upset, you’re supposed to ask me what’s wrong.”
On page 128 it might say, “If it’s Christmas, you’re supposed to know what I want and get it for me.”
On page 387 it might say, “When you see a beautiful woman, you’re supposed to be struck blind momentarily and give me extra attention just because she walked by.”
On page 956 it might say, “When you’re upset, you’re supposed to talk to me and make me feel included.”
Basically, we carry around encyclopedia-set-sized invisible instruction manuals titled “How You Should Make Me Happy; Volumes I - Infinity.”
My Daughter Wants A New Mom
In 2011, a few years into single-motherhood, my daughter (9 years old at the time) told me that she didn’t want me to be her mom anymore. This post was written late one night during one of the worst times of my life. Here’s the original post. Scroll down to see my update, written 12 years later.