love

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Independence Day

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Independence Day

Last winter, my heart was broken. Someone I loved very much walked out of my life. Out of my daughter's life. 

He gave no reason. 

He just bailed.

And for months after, I tried to heal. I tried to forgive. I tried to forget.

I tried to pick up the pieces of my heart and scotch-tape them back together.

My chest literally hurt. My rib cage ached. I felt haunted by the Ghost of Relationships Past. Everything I did. Everywhere I went. He was there. 

I came to realize this heavy brick on my sternum was grief. 

And that it is normal.

And that it sucks.

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How To Let Go

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How To Let Go

I know how to hold on.

How to push. Force. Sweat. Grunt. Dig deep. Grit my teeth. And get shit done.

I'm fiercely talented at keeping a grudge alive.

I know how to stay focused. Eyes on the prize. Nose to the grindstone.

I don't give up. Nor do I give in. Until the universe beats it into me.

Surrender's just not my strong-suit.

And sometimes this strength has moved mountains in my life. It's gotten me through death and divorce. It has finished a marathon, published two books, and paid off more than a half-million in debt.

But sometimes this strength has been my weakest link.

Because anything too rigid.

Can break.

And I did. Well, my heart did.