Dealing with failure is hard. Especially when you've invested your effort, time, and energy into something that ultimately doesn't succeed. To build self-worth, it’s important to understand how to handle failure so you can let go of old stories and build a better future.
Here are five critical steps to take while navigating failure. Even though the aftermath of a major fail is tough, there are things you can do to minimize the pain and move on with grace.
Understanding Sadness
One of the surprising elements of failure is the emotion of sadness. When faced with failure, it's natural to experience sadness. Sadness can manifest in various forms and intensities, from feeling a bit down to profound sorrow and grief. It emerges when you lose something of value, such as a job, project, friendship, or even a marriage. Recognizing sadness as a distinct emotion from shame is crucial. While shame often gets associated with failure, the real pain lies in sadness.
Sadness is an invitation to seek comfort, care, and support. It provides an opportunity to slow down, rejuvenate, and recover. By denying or repressing sadness, you deprive yourself of valuable information that could guide your healing process. Emotionally, sadness feels heavy and slows you down, creating a physical ache around your heart.
Exploring Grief
Sometimes, you’re going to feel something even deeper and more profound than sadness. When you havea significant failure, you might need to address grief, an intense version of sadness. Grief arises when there is an unwillingness to accept or honor the loss or transition you're experiencing. It compels you to let go of what has died, enabling you to embrace life more fully.
Failure can evoke a sense of soul loss or heartbreak, even if it may not be immediately apparent. Refusing to grieve and acknowledge the sadness associated with failure often stems from a desire to keep the failed entity alive. However, if you avoid grieving your losses, they will persist in your psyche, haunting you and preventing you from fully engaging in your life.
4 Powerful Questions to Help You Overcome Failure
Then you can ask these really powerful questions.
WHAT PART WAS ACTUALLY LOST?
WHAT PART CAN NEVER BE LOST?
WHAT PART DO I HAVE A DUTY TO CONTINUE?
AND WHAT PART SHOULD I ULTIMATELY LET GO?
5 Simple Steps to Recover from Failure and Build Self-Worth
1. Recognize and Acknowledge Sadness and Grief:
Allow yourself to experience the full spectrum of emotions associated with failure. Acknowledge the sadness and grief that come with losing something you value.
2. Understand the Connection between Love and Loss:
Recognize that sadness and grief are reflections of the love you had for what was lost. Embrace the idea that loving something can lead to pain when it no longer remains.
3. Utilize Your Love Story to Foster Self-Worth:
Identify the aspects you truly loved about what you've lost. Focus on the love you had for people, experiences, or specific elements. Use this love story as a catalyst to shift into the cycle of self-worth.
4. Embrace Surrender and Humility:
Instead of resisting failure, surrender to the reality that it was an inevitable outcome. By accepting this truth, you can approach failure with humility and find peace in knowing you did your best.
5. Ask Powerful Questions:
What part was actually lost?
What part can never be lost?
What part do I have a duty to continue?
What part should I ultimately let go?